The 2014 Ram 2500 Laramie 4x4 Is AWESOME

"PatBateman" (PatBateman)
02/11/2014 at 15:11 • Filed to: OMG Truck

I'm back. One of my clients picked me up in his loaded brand-spanking new white 3/4 ton Ram Laramie 4x4 diesel. If you've ever wondered why people forgo luxury cars to get a truck, sit in this behemoth: you'll understand.

"Paul" (no real names) called earlier today to tell me that he was back in town from his grandfather's funeral in California and wanted to grab some lunch. Sure thing. He said that he would pick me up in his new week-old ride. Sweet! Lunch AND I don't have to drive! Giddy up.

When he pulled up to my building, I was awestruck. I hadn't seen the truck before, but I immediately knew that it was Paul's. Big burly Cummins diesel, brand new BFG All-Terrain tires (they are truly the truck tire connoisseur's tire of choice) strapped on 8 lug 20" rims... Yup. That's Paul.

The interior is gorgeous. My ass slid onto a heated tan leather seat (they are cooled seats too) as my legs stretched out into the cavern in front of the seat. The first thing my eyes zeroed in on, though, was the UConnect system on the dash. Slightly smaller than an iPad, complete with apps, AC controls, Navigation, sound systems, Bluetooth connectivity, Prius-killing death ray controls, weather/traffic monitoring, and MORE. Paul then pulled out of the parking spot.

That 6.7 Liter I6 Cummins power plant is truly amazing. It lays down 370 HP and 800 LB-FT of torque to the drivetrain which surely must be made of Adamantium. I goaded him into punching it as we started off out of the parking lot. It should be illegal for a 3/4 ton 4x4 to do what it did as smoothly as it did it. Yessir.

The Alpine sound system is worthy of note as well. I synced my phone to it when we stopped and played a bass-laden rap song. Crisp highs and deep, booming lows. The factory done good with this rig.

When we got to the restaurant, he showed me a couple other goodies that the truck came with. A cooler/tool area in the backseat's floorboard, various little lights that make life easier, heated steering wheel, AC power (it's 38 degrees out, so we basically tested the heater). The rear view camera is pretty damned fancy, too. The lines interlaid on the screen actually turn and show where the truck is going to go. It also shows the receiver hitch, which is extremely useful when backing into a trailer without someone guiding you. Bonuses all around.

And now, I will teach many of you a couple of things. My client tows trailers for work and play. He has a ranch (a 10 acre plot of land is not a ranch; several thousand acres are, however) which requires four wheel drive. Paul has money, which will leave many of you wondering, "Why didn't he get a BMW/MB/luxury car and go buy a stock truck?" Because wealthy people in Texas generally do not want to switch vehicles to go do something that requires a truck. They'll go buy a top-o'-the-line pick up that has damn near all the bells and whistles of a 5 series for a little less money. Why spend more money when you don't need to?

This truck is, again, awesome. I'm still aiming for a CTS, but... WOW. A well-built, nicely-appointed truck has never felt so right. I think I need to make more money to afford to buy the Cadillac AND a Ram.

DISCUSSION (46)

Reigntastic > PatBateman
02/11/2014 at 15:13

Here I was calling my 400 acre owned plot of land a ranch. I should have known better.

I'm surprised you liked the audio quality of the bluetooth system, I've always found them to be pretty subpar; I definitely favor traditional cables.

PatBateman > Reigntastic
02/11/2014 at 15:17

If it's any consolation, I actually want a 400 acre ranch. Big enough to actually consider a ranch, small enough that you don't need full-time ranch hands. He has a few thousand acres, though.

The Bluetooth wasn't bad as far as quality. My wife's Enclave's stereo sounds like crap when I plug my cell in with a chord. Absolute crap.

For Sweden > PatBateman
02/11/2014 at 15:20

Does he have cattle on this ranch? I'm sure you know about all truck and no cattle.

Also, he could have gotten the 6MT. He should have gotten the 6MT.

Reigntastic > PatBateman
02/11/2014 at 15:21

Yeah, it's under a square mile so you can still hike around, but large enough to let you play with guns and ATVs.

Does the Enclave sound like crap normally or just via line-in? For a frame of reference I've tried the bluetooth system in a 335D, FR-S, Navigator, and my Kenwood head unit with similar results. Fidelity is greatly reduced and static is noticeable.

Nice write-up though, pretty solid read.

Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs > Reigntastic
02/11/2014 at 15:22

Hmm, I like the quality I get over bluetooth in my SHO, I never thought to compare to plugging in through the aux input, maybe it's worth a try....

Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs > PatBateman
02/11/2014 at 15:24

I would personally opt for a King Ranch if I were to go all out on a truck, but I definitely wouldn't mind a Cummins equipped Ram either...

In addition to describing the acceleration as smooth, would you describe it as very fast too? Haha. It's got to be with 800 ft-lb.

Reigntastic > Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs
02/11/2014 at 15:28

It definitely depends on what kind of music you like, but since I like a lot of electronic music, I can easily notice in the lows. Try it out and let me know what you think!

HammerheadFistpunch > PatBateman
02/11/2014 at 15:31

The Cowboy Cadillac is still the dream of the well heeled rural and those with rural in their blood. Can't say I blame them, they sure are getting nice.

Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs > Reigntastic
02/11/2014 at 15:34

yeah, I'll have to dig up a cord, haha. I like to listen to a lot electronic music too, so it's definitely worth a try for me.

PatBateman > For Sweden
02/11/2014 at 15:34

I've heard "all hat, no cattle" before.

Nah, the manual isn't available in that model.

Meatcoma > PatBateman
02/11/2014 at 15:37

brand new BFG All-Terrain tires (they are truly the truck tire connoisseur's tire of choice)

Truth.

PatBateman > Reigntastic
02/11/2014 at 15:43

Admittedly, the Enclave's "sound system" isn't all that and a bag of chips. But it sounds even worse using the auxiliary port.

And thanks for the compliment.

N/A POWAAAHH > PatBateman
02/11/2014 at 15:44

I've found that Chrysler products have amazing sound systems. My father has a 2010 300 with I believe a Boston setup, and it's great!

Zoom > PatBateman
02/11/2014 at 15:45

As soon as you get to higher quality sound systems, you can easily differentiate from an mp3 to ALAC or Lossless.

While not needed for a pocket speaker, I rip everything lossless. While it takes more space, the sound quality is worlds better on a quality system.

And, that Ram is badass.

PatBateman > Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs
02/11/2014 at 15:45

For the package, yeah, it's fast. Obviously the weight and pushing two axles takes it's toll, but it was certainly faster than I expected. And the shifts were hardly noticeable.

PatBateman > HammerheadFistpunch
02/11/2014 at 15:48

It actually amazes me how nice these trucks are getting. The MSRP on this one was $62, but he got it for about $50. For all the creature comforts and utility it brings to the table, I'd say that he got a great deal.

Slow4o > PatBateman
02/11/2014 at 15:48

This is pretty much why my wife ended up with an FX2 F-150: because it had an amazingly comfortable, large interior with a bunch of fun little gadgets, and it still is a super useful vehicle that she feels safe in and enjoys driving. And we got a killer price on it (low 30's) that would've made it impossible to find another vehicle that had as nice an interior as this one, without sacrificing size.

Deven > PatBateman
02/11/2014 at 15:49

"And now, I will teach many of you a couple of things. My client tows trailers for work and play. He has a ranch (a 10 acre plot of land is not a ranch; several thousand acres are, however) which requires four wheel drive. Paul has money, which will leave many of you wondering, "Why didn't he get a BMW/MB/luxury car and go buy a stock truck?" Because wealthy people in Texas generally do not want to switch vehicles to go do something that requires a truck. They'll go buy a top-o'-the-line pick up that has damn near all the bells and whistles of a 5 series for a little less money. Why spend more money when you don't need to?"

You sir have finally brought to light (in terms people that are not from Texas can understand) the reason why there are so many trucks here. By the way what part of Texas are y'all in?

PatBateman > Slow4o
02/11/2014 at 15:51

I have an F150 Lariat 4x4 myself. I love the interior, the drive, the feel of the vehicle.

PatBateman > Deven
02/11/2014 at 15:53

Grew up in Beaumont and Austin, live just SW of Houston.

Deven > PatBateman
02/11/2014 at 15:59

Like the Pasadena/ Deer Park area?

PatBateman > Deven
02/11/2014 at 16:01

That's SE. Sugar Land/Richmond/Rosenberg area (Fort Bend County).

Deven > PatBateman
02/11/2014 at 16:02

Yeah that's my bad. I am kinda bad at directions.

PatBateman > Deven
02/11/2014 at 16:07

It's all good.

efme > PatBateman
02/11/2014 at 16:07

MPG?

PatBateman > efme
02/11/2014 at 16:20

He hasn't driven it enough to get any kind of reliable average yet. My guess is an average around 17.

Slow4o > PatBateman
02/11/2014 at 16:23

While I am more of a car person, I never complain about driving the truck. Especially on road trips, it is so much better than my 11 year old Focus or the Mustang with track suspension and a cat back haha.

Slow4o > PatBateman
02/11/2014 at 16:24

Where did you go to school in Big Money Texas?

Deven > PatBateman
02/11/2014 at 16:26

You would think living north of Houston my entire life I would know that by now.

PatBateman > Slow4o
02/11/2014 at 16:30

Which year? I did what my friends call the "Texas College Tour".

Graduated from UH, nothing fancy.

Slow4o > PatBateman
02/11/2014 at 16:44

I meant like high school. Or did you go to Lamar and that is why you included Beaumont?

PatBateman > Slow4o
02/11/2014 at 16:52

OH. High school was Westlake (just west of Austin). I'm laughing, because you said "Big Money Texas", and WHS is certainly a Big Money HS.

In high school, my best friend drove a 1976 one ton Suburban 4x4 with a 454 under the hood. One morning, as he was coming into the school parking lot, he T-boned a brand new Special Edition SL500 that was the DD of a 16 year old. Totaled the Mercedes, dented the 'Burb's license plate.

desertdog5051 > PatBateman
02/11/2014 at 17:09

Indeed. A ranch where I live is measured in sections. I would love that trailer hitch cam. I pull my trailer a fair amount and having to get out several times gets old.

nermal > PatBateman
02/11/2014 at 17:13

I've been shopping for a new vehicle with greater towing capacity recently, but find myself hard pressed between one of these and a Grand Cherokee diesel. Semi off topic, but my goodness is that 8 spd smoooooooth.

PatBateman > desertdog5051
02/11/2014 at 17:14

I do the same thing when backing up to my boat. Huge pain in the ass. Stop, get out, 3" short. Back up, stop, get out, 1" short. Back up, stop, get out, too far.

And the trailer hitch was VERY visible on cam. It was almost perfect.

desertdog5051 > PatBateman
02/11/2014 at 17:17

I like that feature but am not prepared to spend $50k to get it right now.

PatBateman > nermal
02/11/2014 at 17:18

Funny, when we got onto the freeway after his all-out acceleration run, we rolled up on a brand new Grand Cherokee SRT. We both commented on how hot that ride is.

I'm not sure, but does the GC have the self-leveling suspension? I know the Ram does. But honestly, he tows BIG competition BBQ pits and large offshore boats. If you don't need all that towing capacity, get either the GC or the Ram 1500. Both have the 8 speed and the baby diesel.

PatBateman > desertdog5051
02/11/2014 at 17:19

The 1500 has it too. I'm pretty sure you could get lower packaged 2500s with it as well.

nermal > PatBateman
02/11/2014 at 17:22

The GC has a 7,200 lb rating. Definitely not close to a 3/4 ton truck, but still quite hefty relatively. The ones with a tow package or the full air suspension have self-leveling.

Plus 28 mpg highway!

ZRuno0611 > PatBateman
02/11/2014 at 17:27

I have a 2011 2500HD gasser and I've always had Chevy's, but I have to admit before I purchase my next truck I am definitely checking out a Cummins Ram. I had to rent a truck while mine got fixed a couple years ago, and the rental agency gave me a 1500 Ram with mid level trim and the smaller V8. I loved that truck, and it was just a rental 1500! Ever since then I've really liked the Ram. As a Chevy Truck Fan boy I have to say I will at the very least compare a Ram HD to the new Silverado HD before my next purchase.

desertdog5051 > PatBateman
02/11/2014 at 17:38

That is probably true as it is a feature that is very desirable. My problem is I deal with Health Insurance and with Obamacare in effect, I have no idea what the future holds for me. No major financial commitments right now.

PatBateman > nermal
02/11/2014 at 17:41

Just checked. The Ram 1500 with the diesel gets 28 mpg highway and has a 9200 lb tow rating. Basically, it boils down to if you want an SUV or a truck.

PatBateman > ZRuno0611
02/11/2014 at 17:45

I've had four vehicles in my life: a Dodge Durango, a Chevy Silverado, a GMC Yukon, and an F150 (my current DD). I'm not a die hard fan of any one maker, but I believe that Ram makes the best trucks right now. Of course, the new Ford half tons are about to come out, so that could change, but I know their 2500 isn't changing for a few years.

The Ram is just a nice truck all around. Definitely compare the two when you're ready to buy.

PatBateman > desertdog5051
02/11/2014 at 17:46

Yeah, I see what you mean. Best to wait until the future is more clear.

Slow4o > PatBateman
02/12/2014 at 00:52

Haha maybe big money Texas is a new, obviously ironic way of referring to Beaumont.

Deputy Kovacs > PatBateman
02/12/2014 at 19:18

Goddamn, you're back.

So subtle, dammit.